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Twilight Breaking Dawn Jokes

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We all remember where we were when Carlisle was beheaded…

If you’re like me, you rewatched The Twilight Saga in quarantine — perhaps more than once. Each movie is special and unique, but there’s something about the Breaking Dawn films that really takes it to the next level for me, so here are some A+ jokes that made me LOL:

1.

IMAGINE THIS: It’s 2012. You’re about to walk in to see the last Twilight movie ever. You’re so excited. Then BAM Carlisle’s head is being held by Aro & you & the whole audience gasps. You die on the inside. Then turns out it was Alice’s vision. Life is now good & you can breathe

6.

I’m getting pregnant here you simply cannot change my mind who is gonna give me a baby in the breaking dawn honeymoon villa

7.

Someone said this was Renesmee escaping the Volturi with Jacob and now I can’t stop thinking about it

10.

Husband and I have been rewatching Breaking Dawn and I can’t stop wondering how come Jacob wasn’t attracted to Edward in the way he was attracted to Bella if it was all about the pull to Renesmee all along?

13.

jobs applications be like “submit your resume”….wtf?? how’s that creepy baby from twilight gonna help me get this job

16.

11 year old me watching carlisle get beheaded in breaking dawn part two knowing it wasnt in the book

17.

ya’ll remember watching breaking dawn when they chopped carlisle’s head right off with no warning. that’s was the root of my trust issues

18.

“you changed” bro life has not been the same since that final battle in breaking dawn part 2 happened

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Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton Celebrated Thanksgiving

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“It was actually really fun.”

After putting in a lot of hours at work, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani decided to do things a little bit differently when it came to the holidays this year.

And, by a little bit differently, I mean they celebrated Thanksgiving a whole month early.

“We actually had our Thanksgiving here last night because we had to switch around our schedules this year, so we had an early Thanksgiving,” Gwen told Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager on the Today show.

“It’s been a lot of fun being out here,” she continued.

For their early Thanksgiving, Gwen and Blake took their family out to their private ranch in Oklahoma, which is the same place they went to last year.

“We had like 14 different celebrations here last night and we just had to pile them all together so we can fit it all in,” Gwen said about the festivities. “We had a lot of fun, it was really good.”

Although the evening was definitely one to remember, Gwen won’t forget the joy she felt when she made her first pumpkin pie with her mother, Patti.


Twitter/ @PamelaAutumns / Via Twitter: @PamelaAutumns

“My mom always does it and I’m like ‘Oh my gosh, I’m actually graduating into the next level.’ I actually didn’t panic, it was actually really fun,” she gushed.

After dating for nearly five years, Gwen and Blake have practically celebrated every big holiday together, from Thanksgiving to Christmas — but celebrating one a whole month early is a first for them.

Maybe next month they’ll celebrate Christmas?

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Ariana Grande Stole A Cutout At The Borat 2 Premiere

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In case you’ve been living under a rock the size of Kazakhstan: Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, the sequel to Sacha Baron Cohen’s uproariously funny 2006 film Borat, is out this Friday, October 23, on Amazon Prime.

View this video on YouTube


ONE Media / YouTube

But, really, it’s okay to call it Borat 2 if you want. That’s basically what it is.

Last night, a “drive-in double tested” screening of Borat Subsequent Moviefilm went down, and a few big-deal stars were in attendance: Katy Perry, Orlando Bloom, Josh Gad, Cohen (of course)—and Ariana Grande.

See that Borat cutout that all the celebs are huddled around? Well, it turns out Ariana decided to take one of those home with her. She captured the saga on her Instagram Story, which a fan account circulated around the internet for anyone feeling the FOMO.


Twitter user @DarianaInfo

After taking Borat home, Ariana found a nice place in the sun for him to sit—er, I mean, stand.


Twitter user @Darianainfo

Even Ariana’s dog met Borat and let out a mighty howl—that is, before Ariana did her best Borat impression.


Twitter user @Darianainfo

While we’re on the subject—Borat Subsequent Moviefilm isn’t the only thing we’re looking forward to this month. Ariana’s releasing her new single “Positions” this week, with the album of the same name coming on October 30 (her website is running a countdown clock for both right now if you’re just that much of a stan). Hey, maybe Borat will drop a guest vocal one of the songs…you never know.

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Only Europeans Will Be Able To Pass This Disney Geography Quiz

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“And, as I always say, ‘If it’s not Baroque, don’t fix it.'”


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