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Twilight Breaking Dawn Jokes

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We all remember where we were when Carlisle was beheaded…

If you’re like me, you rewatched The Twilight Saga in quarantine — perhaps more than once. Each movie is special and unique, but there’s something about the Breaking Dawn films that really takes it to the next level for me, so here are some A+ jokes that made me LOL:

1.

IMAGINE THIS: It’s 2012. You’re about to walk in to see the last Twilight movie ever. You’re so excited. Then BAM Carlisle’s head is being held by Aro & you & the whole audience gasps. You die on the inside. Then turns out it was Alice’s vision. Life is now good & you can breathe

6.

I’m getting pregnant here you simply cannot change my mind who is gonna give me a baby in the breaking dawn honeymoon villa

7.

Someone said this was Renesmee escaping the Volturi with Jacob and now I can’t stop thinking about it

10.

Husband and I have been rewatching Breaking Dawn and I can’t stop wondering how come Jacob wasn’t attracted to Edward in the way he was attracted to Bella if it was all about the pull to Renesmee all along?

13.

jobs applications be like “submit your resume”….wtf?? how’s that creepy baby from twilight gonna help me get this job

16.

11 year old me watching carlisle get beheaded in breaking dawn part two knowing it wasnt in the book

17.

ya’ll remember watching breaking dawn when they chopped carlisle’s head right off with no warning. that’s was the root of my trust issues

18.

“you changed” bro life has not been the same since that final battle in breaking dawn part 2 happened

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Kelly Clarkson And Justin Guarini’s Movie Actually Good

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Broke: Lady Gaga and Beyoncé’s “Telephone.” Woke: Kelly Clarkson and Anika Noni Rose’s “Madness.”

The year is 2003. You’re excited because American Idol’s winner and runner-up — Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini — are starring in a masterpiece otherwise known as From Justin to Kelly.


20th Century Fox / Courtesy Everett Collection

I personally voted for Justin Guarini, but I was a wee babe blinded by looks. I have since learned the error of my ways and recognize Kelly Clarkson as my American Idol.

Does the film have low ratings? Yes. But, now that it’s 2021, I think it’s time that we reclaim how good this movie was.


The WB

I must admit, I was sippin’ on the haterade, but my friend Alyssa made us watch it this past weekend and I’ve already inquired about how soon is too soon before we rewatch it.

It’s the full package! We got dope bops…


20th Century Fox

“Must be the madness and the magic that I feel insiiiiideeeeee!”

And iconIQUE fashion moments…


20th Century Fox /Courtesy Everett Collection

So here just SOME tweets and Tumblr posts from people who ALSO appreciate the cult classic:

12.

Just sitting on the train wondering when Kelly Clarkson is going to have Anika Noni Rose on her show so they can talk about making the cinematic masterpiece that is From Justin to Kelly.


Twitter: @mekishana

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17 Times Clarke And Lexa Were The Most Powerful Couple On "The 100"

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“Life should be about more than just surviving.”


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Hilarious Bling Empire Tweets

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Forget Emily in Paris, I want Anna in Paris.

Earlier this month, Netflix released Bling Empire and it’s, in a word, batshit. So, needless to say, I love it.


Netflix

Specifically, Anna Shay and Kevin. Anna ’cause she’s iconic, and Kevin ’cause he’s nice to look at.

The show follows several IRL ~crazy rich Asians~ who live in Los Angeles and live their ostentatious lifestyles.


Netflix

Like, there’s a direct descendent of the Song Dynasty and a billionaire arms and weapons heiress. THAT kind of rich.

Anyway, if you’re like me and binged the entire series while wearing your Target leggings, then these are the tweets for you:

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