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I am in my 60s and dating men in their 40s. The sex is great – so why do I feel guilty? | Relationships

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I am a divorced woman in her 60s who has recently dated a couple of men in their 40s. I have always looked young and my ex-husband is much younger than me. I have never thought much about it, but now that I am getting older I think other people are becoming judgmental. The sex is great and they are not boys, so why do I feel guilty?

It is not easy to shrug off societal judgment. I suspect the people who judge you negatively would barely notice a man in his 60s with a 40-year-old woman. Is there an obvious derogatory word for an older man who dates young women? No. Ageism, hypocrisy and double standards regarding “acceptable” partnerships abound in our society. In most cases, age differences between partners are no one else’s business. Your best course is to ignore judgmental looks or comments – including congratulatory words that constitute veiled criticism. People who are sexually confident can attract adult partners of any age – and they have a right to feel comfortable about that.

  • Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

  • If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to [email protected] (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms.

  • Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.


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Amanda Gorman signs modeling contract following acclaimed inaugural performance | US news

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Amanda Gorman, whose performance of her poem The Hill We Climb during Joe Biden’s presidential inauguration drew widespread praise, has signed to IMG Models, the same agency as Gigi and Bella Hadid.

The 22-year-old US National Youth Poet Laureate, has already become a fashion sensation. The red satin Prada headband she wore during the inauguration ceremony led to the item selling out, while her yellow coat (also Prada) caused searches for “yellow coats” to increase 1,328% percent (according to fashion search engine Lyst) in the wake of her appearance.

“I’m a black woman with a powerful pen and a big heart, and I like my look to reflect that pride,” Gorman told Harpers Bazaar, speaking about her love of style. She told the magazine she loves “loud, regal-looking dresses embroidered with flowers – a nod, I think, to my Afro-flower-child upbringing in Los Angeles. I’m also a fan of Victor Glemaud’s super stylish and comfy knitwear.”

The signing of Gorman is seen as a shrewd one by fashion insiders. As labels struggle to adapt to the changes in the fashion industry as a result of the pandemic, Generation Z shoppers are disengaging with fashion labels who do not reflect their own social, political and environmental concerns.

Gorman, who founded the charity One Pen, One Page, which supports underprivileged young people through writing, is perfectly poised to be the face of a fashion label which would want to do more than sell a piece of clothing, but to connect on a deeper level with its customers.

Earlier this month tennis player Naomi Osaka, who publicly made a stand against police brutality and racial injustice through her choice of face masks during tennis matches became the face of Louis Vuitton. “(She) represents her generation and is also a role model for everyone. Her career and convictions are inspiring,” said Vuitton creative director Nicolas Ghesquiere in a statement.

At IMG Models, which also represents Kate Moss, Cara Delevingne and Ashley Graham, Gorman will “be represented by the modelling agency for brand endorsements and other fashion-adjacent opportunities,” according to industry publication The Business of Fashion. The appointment was praised by Gigi Hadid who wrote in Instagram stories: “Werk @amandasgorman @imgmodels faaaaam! Major.”



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7 common dinner habits that are shortening your life

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Gulping down your dinner too fast can make you fat and harm your heart, says research presented at an American Heart Association scientific conference in 2017.

Fast eaters are 11.6 per cent more likely to have metabolic syndrome, which is a cluster disorder including high blood pressure, high blood sugar levels and high triglycerides levels. Eating fast is also associated with weight gain.

When you eat fast, you do not chew the food properly, which can also affect the number of nutrients you are getting from healthy food.


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Kim Jones Fendi show: Kate Moss and daughter Lila grace catwalk | Fashion

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One has been a British fashion superstar for 30 years; the other is a British designer who is becoming fashion’s next global power player.

A rare catwalk turn by Kate Moss marked the moment that Kim Jones, lauded with industry awards but a little-known name in the wider world, took his place at fashion’s top table with his first womenswear collection, for Fendi haute couture. Moss was joined by her daughter Lila, 18, the first time the pair have walked a catwalk together. The actor Demi Moore opened the show in off-the-shoulder black satin; Naomi Campbell closed it in a silver cape with cathedral-length train. Such stellar casting, on a show filmed behind closed doors with no live audience, was an unmistakable flexing of strength.

Demi Moore opened the show in off-the-shoulder black satin.
Demi Moore opened the show in off-the-shoulder black satin. Photograph: Stéphane de Sakutin/AFP/Getty

Jones is a sneakerhead who also collects first editions of Virginia Woolf. He has five trophies from the British Fashion Awards, has been awarded an OBE, was mentored by Alexander McQueen, and counts the Beckhams as well as Moss in his circle of close friends. By aligning with Supreme during his tenure at Louis Vuitton and with Air Jordan at Dior, he pioneered a pivot to streetwear which transformed and energised the menswear world. His talents have long been recognised and rewarded by his bosses at LVMH – as is attested by his personal art collection, which includes a Francis Bacon and a Rene Magritte.

Jones has arrived to design women’s clothing at a house with a strong heritage of matriarchal leadership and female creativity. Silvia Fendi, the current menswear and accessories designer, is the fourth generation of Fendi women at the helm of the brand. Jones has enlisted Kate Moss as a consultant on accessories at Fendi, as well as a model, and the mother-and-daughter Moss casting was his way of honouring the Fendi tradition.

Kim Jones walks the runway after presenting his Fendi spring-summer collection.
Kim Jones walks the runway after presenting his Fendi spring-summer collection. Photograph: Stéphane de Sakutin/AFP/Getty

Jones said before the show: “Fendi is all about family … I am surrounded by strong, powerful women who I love and respect, and want to bring their energy into what I do.” He describes his own role at Fendi as “guest starring”.

Virginia Woolf’s novel Orlando was Jones’s jumping-off point. The gender-blurring classic novel has become a go-to reference point in modern fashion, a book that is to the early 21st-century catwalk what the film Breakfast at Tiffany was to the late-20th. It has been the touchstone for collections by Christopher Bailey at Burberry, and Clare Waight Keller at Givenchy.

Jones grew up near Charleston, the Sussex home of the Bloomsbury group, and has amassed a collection of first editions of Woolf’s Orlando, which includes those owned by Vita Sackville-West and Vanessa Bell, two of the most important women in Woolf’s life.

Naomi Campbell closed the show in a silver cape.
Naomi Campbell closed the show in a silver cape. Photograph: Stéphane de Sakutin/AFP/Getty

“I admire the way they lived their lives, the freedom they created for themselves and the art that they left behind for the world,” Jones says of his connection to renegade Bloomsbury energy. This manifested itself in ways both straightforward – as with lines of Orlando inscribed into tiny mother-of-pearl minaudière handbags – and more oblique. The model Adwoa Aboah’s look was inspired by a sketch in the Fendi archives from Karl Lagerfeld’s tenure at the house, a nod to the time-travelling that is central to Orlando.

After walking the catwalk, each model struck a pose inside glass rooms which slotted together in the shape of Fendi’s double F logo. A chic take on the Covid-secure “bubble” – or perhaps on Woolf’s passion for a room of one’s own.


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