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Hilarious Jokes Told In Movies

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We’re not talking about funny lines, but actual jokes!

Usually, when we laugh at a movie it’s because of the dialogue or situations the characters get themselves into. But sometimes, a character will stop and tell an actual joke with a setup and punchline! Here are some of the best examples:

1.

When Nick (Jason Bateman) told the sloth this knee-slapper at the DMV:


Disney

“What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant!”

2.

In Jurassic Park, when Tim (Joseph Mazzello) tells this very on-point joke considering where they are:


Universal

Tim: “What do you call a blind dinosaur?”

Dr. Alan Grant: “I don’t know. What do you call a blind dinosaur?”

Tim: “A Do-you-think-he-saurus.”

3.

In A Prairie Home Companion, when Lefty (John C. Reilly) tells Dusty (Woody Harrelson) this one while performing the song “Bad Jokes”:


New Line

Lefty: “Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?”

Dusty: “No, I did not.”

Lefty: “Yeah, it runs in your jeans.”

4.

In Coming to America, when Saul (Eddie Murphy) tells the guys at the barbershop this golden oldie:


Paramount

“A man goes into a restaurant. He sits down, he’s havin’ a bowl of soup. He says to the waiter, ‘Waiter, come taste the soup.’ Waiter says, ‘Is there something wrong with the soup?’ He says, ‘Taste the soup.’ Waiter says, ‘Is there something wrong with the soup? Is the soup too hot?’ The man says, ‘Will you taste the soup?’ ‘What’s wrong? Is the soup too cold?’ ‘Will you just taste the soup?’ ‘All right, I’ll taste the soup. Where’s the spoon?’ ‘Ah-ha!'”

5.

In Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, when Perry (Val Kilmer) directed this angry joke at Harry (Robert Downey Jr.):


Warner Bros.

Perry: “Look up ‘idiot’ in the dictionary. Do you know what you’ll find?”

Harry: “A picture of me?”

Perry: “No! The definition of the word ‘idiot,’ which you fucking are!”

6.

When the android Andrew (Robin Williams) told this joke in Bicentennial Man:


Buena Vista/Sony

“Two cannibals were eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, ‘Does this taste funny to you?'”

7.

In Pulp Fiction, when Mia (Uma Thurman) told this joke:


Miramax

“Three tomatoes are walking down the street: a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Papa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and squishes him…and says: ‘Ketchup.'”

8.

In Her, when Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) told his A.I. virtual assistant Samantha this one:


Warner Bros.

Theodore: “What does a baby computer call its father?”

Samantha: “I don’t know. What?”

Theodore: “Data.”

9.

In 28 Days Later, when Mark (Noah Huntley) tells this animal-themed joke:


Fox Searchlight

“A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, ‘Oi. You can’t leave that lyin’ there.’ And the man says, ‘No. It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.’”

10.

In Fargo, when Marge (Frances McDormand) told this yucker:


Gramercy Pictures

“Say Lou, didya hear the one about the guy who couldn’t afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J3L2404?”

11.

In Mary Poppins, when Uncle Albert (Ed Wynn) told this funny one that started out sad:


Disney

Uncle Albert: “Yesterday, when the lady next door answered the door, there was a man there, and the man said to the lady, ‘I’m terribly sorry, I just ran over your cat.'”

Jane: “Oh, that is sad.”

Michael: “The poor cat.”

Uncle Albert: “And the man said, ‘I’d like to replace your cat.’ And the lady said, ‘That’s all right with me, but how are you with catching mice?'”

12.

In The Pursuit of Happyness, when Chris Jr. (Jaden Smith) told this joke that’ll make you think:


Sony

“Hey Dad, you wanna hear something funny? There was a man who was drowning, and a boat came, and the man on the boat said ‘Do you need help?’ and the man said ‘God will save me.’ Then another boat came and he tried to help him, but he said ‘God will save me.’ Then he drowned and went to Heaven. Then the man told God, ‘God, why didn’t you save me?’ and God said ‘I sent you two boats, you dummy!'”

13.

And in What About Bob?, when Bob (Bill Murray) gets the whole hospital laughing:


Touchstone

“The psychiatrist draws a circle and asks his patient, ‘What do you think when you see that?’ The guy says ‘Sex.’ So the doctor draws a picture of a tree. ‘What do you think of that one?’ Guy says ‘Sex.’ The doctor draws a picture of a car, a house. ’Sex, sex, sex.’ The doctor finally says, ‘You know, you’re obsessed with sex.’ And the patient says, ‘Well, you’re the one drawing all the dirty pictures!’”

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Are These Movie Guys Hotter Than The Actors Who Play Them?

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Here’s the deal: Below are 15 objectively very attractive men. It’s your job to determine if you think the iconic characters they play are even hotter than the actual actor. We’re not just talking about looks here, either. Take a moment to really think about these guys’ character traits, mannerisms, and overall vibes too.


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Haunting Of Bly Manor Behind-The-Scenes Photos

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This post is basically me saying “Riddikulus” to the dementor that is Haunting of Bly Manor.

The Haunting of Bly Manor came out a couple weeks ago…and honestly, I have not been the same since.


Netflix

It’s wonderful and heartbreaking, but mostly TERRIFYINGLY CREEPY.

I’m a HUGE scaredy cat (but I loved Hill House, so I just HAD to watch this one!), so this show honestly gave me nightmares.

But it’s important to remember this is just a (albeit VERY well-acted) TV show. To prove it, here are 21 behind-the-scenes photos of the cast goofing around and having a great time!

1.

This photo of Amelia Eve (who plays Jamie) and Rahul Kohli (who plays Owen) reminding us that they’re just REALLY good actors:

2.

This hilarious video of T’Nia Miller (who plays Hannah) dancing and singing “Don’t Cha” while wearing corpse makeup.

3.

These photos of Amelia, Rahul, T’Nia, and Tahirah Sharif (who plays Rebecca) having the best time in the kitchen:

4.

And this photo of the same crew either filming or partying it up — I can’t tell, but they look happy:

5.

These super-cute photos of Benjamin Evan Ainsworth (who plays Miles) and Amelie Bea Smith (who plays Flora) actually looking happy for once:

6.

I think they might be BFFs:

7.

Like, seriously! They seem to do everything together:

8.

This playful photo of Rahul and the Lady of the Lake (played by Daniela Dib) that takes away a bit of the creepiness of the ghosts:

9.

And this photo Amelia posted of her in a ghost mask doing a dance:

10.

These photos from Rebecca’s final day, including her descent into the lake:

11.

These photos of the gang doing an escape room together:

12.

And these photos of them celebrating the holidays:

13.

These photos of Benjamin and Amelie with Victoria Pedretti (who plays Dani), showing there’s no hard feelings:

14.

These adorable Polaroids, which proves that Jamie and Dani got that drink after all:

15.

These behind-the-scenes photos that remind us that these are just ACTORS on a SET and not real people in a haunted house:

16.

This super-cute photo of Amelia, Victoria, and Rahul cuddled up together, proving they’re just as close as their onscreen characters:

17.

These photos of T’Nia, Amelia, and Benjamin that prove the set was far from dark and bleak:

18.

And this absolutely splendid photo of Amelie outside her dressing room!

19.

This wonderful video of T’Nia and Victoria singing and dancing to “Come on Eileen” on a party bus:

20.

This selfie of Rahul and Benjamin, two of the breakout stars:

21.

And finally, this dazzling photo of Carla Gugino with her gorgeous hair for the role:

See — not so scary now, right? Here’s hoping this will help me sleep tonight.

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If You've Seen 0/27 Of These TV Shows, You Are 100% An Adult

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How tuned-in are you to the youths?


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